DoingTheCaveman

Hair raising

Alongside a weight problem I've had a parallel problem, a follicular one and unfortunately because of those darn hormones it's all too common when you have a weight problem.  Fear of hair loss can creep into your dreams in the form of a night terror, it certainly does mine.  It is one thing a man losing his hair, and certainly not an aspect of manhood he'd embrace.  So imagine, if you will, the experience of this loss for a woman. 

Remember, even before we go into puberty we use our hair to enhance our femininity.  Hair is so aptly named is the crowning glory, it's the main outward sign of our femininity and losing it rips away a portion of one's feminine identity. 

When I was at my heaviest my hair, which remained styled long, was the one thing that I still liked about myself - losing it was desperately painful.  

My personal hair loss happened a  little under three years ago now.  There may be a couple of photos lurking somewhere as a reminder of that desperate period. In the meantime I'm wachful with my hair and hope one day my weight loss will induce my deviant hormones to balance.

Unfortunately a few weeks ago my hair was beginning to look rather thin again.  One aspect of the advice I was given (see previous post) was something I found really hard to maintain... Leave it alone!

I still don't entirely know what had caused the loss.  It hadn't been looking it's best for a while so it could have been hormones but then I was very ill.  The doctor suggested to me that i't used to be said that a febrile illness could trigger hair loss'.

Overall, apart from the hard cut back, and massage I think the advice not to wash ones hair too often was probably the best advice.  I have always had greasy hair, so I have always washed it on a daily basis,  That's not really the best thing you can do for your hair but I am completely phobic of greasy hair and working in a customer facing role it's not really the best look.  Back to the beginning of this year I was back to a washing it every morning,  yet it'd still be  greasy hair by the evening. My reaction waas then to manically wash it until it it'd got to a point that it'd started to look thin again.

The tricholosist was excellent in that she recognized that the hair loss was happening.  I was, at this point, brushing just a a few remaining long strands over my head, yet people were telling me that I was imagining it or that I shouldn't worry about it.  This was despite the fact I was by now almost completely bald.   I was starting to doubt if what I was seeing in the mirror really was my reality.

However when Wendy examined my hair she was able to tell me that the hair follicles were OK and there was actually new growth there.  The bit I didn't like was that it all had to go and she set about hacking it off there and then.  It looked a little better, not like I was trying to hide what was plainly missing.  It was kind of cute when it grew back curly, and I liked returning to the elfin look I'd been given as a child. 

The best advice from my experience is to see a  trichologist (rather than a hairdresser) for support and for a better insight into what I was dealing with.  This was far more helpful than the medical doctor.  In the meantime you can check for hair growth yourself by; near your parting hold with your hands flat against your scalp, hold your hair down on both sides so it's flat against your head.  You will, hopefully, see very short strands standing out.  This is your new growth.

With my recent thinning the action I've been taking, along with increasing the days between washes, is that I've stopped using regular shampoos.  Kind of in line with my Caveman diet.  I'm not putting parabens into my hair any more and I intend to start making my own shampoos shortly.  I'm not sure if it's the less frequent washing or reduction of chemicals but in just 6 - 8 weeks I can see a marked increase in new hair growth and the grease problem seems also to have balanced itself.  My my hair looks glossy, has a better texture rather than being greasy at the roots and brittle and dry and frizzy at the ends.  Actually it looks like my hair used to be - and there's a lot of it!!

Finally, cant resist a paleo note.  Yes, I do think looking to nutrition is an extremely important to good hair.  Look to increase densely nutritional foods and reduce that stress.  It will show up in your hair and will affect your weight.  My grandmother used to recite a story about her friend whose daughter, Heather, suddenly died at the age of 6.  Her friends hair did go white overnight as a result of the shock. 

I heart my hair...

Looking out from paper mountain & Why, why, why

Yay :) great to return to blogland.  After mopping up all the loose ends of moving house and the struggle to fight my way out from under paper mountain I've had a gum infection under my wisdom teeth.  This seems to happen every single time I move house and left me far too grumpy to blog -- Boohoo --  Isn't strange how stress seems to manifest itself in your mouth!!  Anyway, as things start to calm down and brain fog and grump induced by housemoving and toothache lifts justoofat has taken the pressure of a return blog topic out of my hands and laid down the challenge of listing all the reasons why we want to lose weight. 

Great timing as I'm at the gateway of a fresh start in more ways than one, albeit with a weight problem. This is a useful visualization exercise to conjure up each and every-time I pass the addictive cheesy pastries and donuts at the uni coffee shop.

So, WHY, WHY, WHY am I doing this ...  

Cosmetic and self-esteem:

1. Recognise and *connect* with the person I see in the mirror.
2. Not to be the ugly sister.
3. I used to be described as self-assured and I I no longer feel this way. Currently I even seem to have developed a minor stutter. Despite weight-loss confidence is at an all time low.
4. To shop in 'normal' places and not pay a premium for over-sized clothes. Goal reached!!
5. Have a tiny waist and one chin again.
6. To melt into a crowd and to take up less space.
7. Wear a swimsuit on a beach and feel comfortable.

Health

1. To wave off the diabetes and alleviate the symptoms of PCOS (as far as is possible). This is a goal where I feel is I am well on the way!
2. Not to have knee pain.
3. Visit the doctor and be confident in the knowledge that he/she will investigate any problem appropriately, in the same way that would investigate the same problem presented by someone of a normal weight.

Fitness & incentives:

1. Rain-forest canopy and zip-line trip. This is the kind of activity that inspires me to lose weight.
2. Tennis, yeah I'd like to return to playing tennis. Actually if I lost weight I'd like to beat my mum who at 62 is still an awesome tennis player.
3. Major one - go skiing again. Perhaps have a go at snowboarding as this hadn't been invented the last time I was able to ski.
4. Canoe in rapids.
5. Go hiking in the Alps and not worry about slowing down the group.
6. Try surfing or at least go on one of those banana rides!!!

Finally a secret reason I'll let you in on another time, maybe.

Although I'll proably think of loads more once I post this to sum it  up I want to feel healthy, fit, agile, nimble again, and not to be the ugly sister!

 

 Don't worry i will survive, sis pic used with permission!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Escape from the micro Kingdom of Mrs B-A

Yeehaa!

A very quick post to update you with news of my newly found freedom.   As the trend of the sale has gone so far went the solicitor phoned me half an hour ago (3 hours late) to let me know that the sale is now complete.  Phew.

I'm now homeless... Well not quite, but I'm in a temporary arrangement.   I'll tell you about that in another entry. Unfortunately, given the current trend of the housing market, it looks as though my planned short stay could become protracted. 

As my furniture was removed on Friday I had a 'ground open and swallow me' moment when the removal men lifted the bed to reveal the axe my husband used to store under it, probably to chop of my head!!!

Other than that we've spent the weekend integrating the furniture of two houses into one and hauling boxes into the loft and summer house (again more about that later).  Anyway, I'm exhaused so this is just a brief post to update.

Food: Yep it went the wrong way.  If I'd been a smoker I would have been a chain smoker but for me anxiety and hand to mouth comfort means biccies and crisps.  Cavemen & women didn't suffer this kind of stress.

Out of Limbo Land

Happy Birthday to me,

 (UPDATE: Yesterday, delay in entry)

Well the day started of starting well because of the title of the entry and of course the date and then turned suddenly turned nasty at work before hand of the clock even came round to 9 because I found myself the victim of a bullying incident.  I was going to call it 'covert' but I've just looked up bullying definitions and this comes into the realm of 'obvious bullying'.  Anyway this is the second incident this year and has really knocked my confidence, just as I was re-garining it, forcing me  to hide in in the bookshelves in order to shed some silent tears.

GREAT start to my Birthday.

On to happier things.  Panic stations!!  As I was heading towards a record breaking  7 month house sale  I've finally exchanged!  Yippee *skips around the room*.   Move date is Monday 23rd, although I had wanted 2 weeks between exchange and completion.  Anyway it's all pretty legally binding now.  All pretty scarey since we have the petrol strike going on this weekend (including Monday & Friday) in the UK.   It could all go horribly wrong!!  If I could score my levels of anxiety it's pretty much 10/10 at the moment.

The outcome of this is I'm either going to go one of two ways I'm either going to eat everything in sight or not at all.  I think it's going to be the latter and given that I've just finishing this at 6 am having been awake since 4 am.

Anyway, his will be my last post for a a few days.  Is there such a think as computer withdrawal?   I feel as if I'm already suffering symptoms, my first job today is to pack up the computer *sobs* until I don't know when *sobs*.

Finally, and the main reason for this is post is I need to become more social and more accountable, join in a challenge, set some goals, and to this end I've joined the Bloggers Biggest Loser Challenge.  Seems great fun and I'm looking forward to joining in.

 

Overdue roundup and BIG babies

This morning I woke to the news that my cousin's 15 year old son broke his back on Monday after falling 35 foot from a tree.  It was her birthday and while I a Facebooked her birthday wishes they would have been having a terrible day.  Anyway thank goodness it looks as if he's going to be OK although will have to wear a brace for a while, one lucky boy! 

On the weight front, it occurs to me that I haven't for done a monthly weigh in for a while.  You I go into avoidance mode when I've strayed. Isn't this a lesson I should have learned by now... the one time you need to keep a closer eye on your weight youI instead start wearing comfortable  elasticated trackies weighing yourself myself 2 years later to find you're I'm 5 stone heavier than you I thought.  Today I weighed in today at 87 kilos (191.8 lb). 

It could have been worse.  

I've been re-motivated -- It was put to me, as my diet recently slipped to the wayside, that perhaps I should start eating 'normally' again.  That I was possibly consuming more calories whilst still doing the paleo thing, but at the same time as going off the paleo rails.  How horrifying was that! 

Not horrifying because of the increased calories but in terms of perceptions of what is a 'normal' healthy diet.   I think it is the fact that I managed to keep to paleo at some level, despite the few slip ups, was the saving grace and meant it's been easier for me to return to my WOE.   I  didn't completely rip out the roots of the lifestyle change that I've been so carefully nurturing.  It's probably because my underlying diet has remained balanced that my weight hasn't increased horrifically over the last few weeks. At the end of the day, I don't want to return to the lifestyle that made me fat in the first place, caused me to overeat and develop unhealthy cravings.  It makes me feel good when I eat something I know to be nutritious and lowers my mood when I eat dead food.  

Now to change the subject away from myself,  I have to mention this programme I ended up watching this week about big babies. I'm sorry I'm afraid it's now going to turn this respectably short post into a whopper.

I was misled, I thought it was going to be a light programme about bonnie babies, but instead turned out to be a fascinating and worrying documentary about the increasing numbers of big babies currently being born, and the relationship of this phenomena with obesity and junk food.  Now we really are talking BIG babies here!!  Babies over 12 lb (although in the UK they're classified big at > 9 lb).  The largest baby was from Russia at 17 lb and the largest baby in Britain was 15.8 lb.  Disturbingly the documentary discussed how increasing numbers of big babies are suffering broken limbs, collar bones, neck injuries and even fatality, whilst their mothers are also at high risk of mortality.  From the programme 50% who die from childbirth do so because of obesity.  Historically they said that having a big baby used to indicate health but these days 'signals a problem in society'; large babies tend to stay large, also become junk food addicted and, as we know, the weight problem tend to stay with them into adulthood.  One surgeon speaking on the programme said that undiagnosed diabetic women are 4 more times more likely to have a stillbirth!

Several years ago I used to work as a PA to a Consultant Endocrinologist (conincidentaly around the same time as I found myself also to be suffering endocrine problems), and I was intrigued by the fact that he dictated a noteable factor in a patient's history being about big babies (macrosomia).  Noting whether the patient had been a big baby, or indeed had produced one or more big babies.  Now I'd always equated the notion of having a larger baby with health and eventually curious I asked Dr M what a history of having big babies had to do with diabetes:

Simply, if you have a sugar disturbance or eat a diet weighted in junk food.  Note you don't need to be diabetic, then that glucose is going to be passed onto the developing baby, the babies are certainly going to get bigger and may possibly even be a contributory factor as to whether they  develop diabetes in the future. 

It's of consequence to me because my mother has told me in the past that when she was expecting me she had a craving for ice-cream, whereas for my sister she had a craving for oranges.  You get the gist of my problems but my sister on the other hand has always been slender with curves in the right places. I wonder?

The following day looking for the link to the programme I googled it and found forum discussions about the programme.  Mainly it was by women who had found had been offended by he notion that because their baby had been large it implied they had an obesity/junk food problem.  I don't understand why offense should be taken, it's afterall simply a clinical sign of a possible problem and surely you'd want to know if you or your child were at risk of developing diabetes. 

*contemplating* Perhaps in reality even though they believed they were eating a healthy balanced diet as prescribed, from a paleo diet perspective it could be argued that the so called balanced modern diet, inclusive of grains and dairy, is only balanced in terms of the prescribed food triangle but not a realistic 'natural' diet.  Hence the diabetes.  

Anyway to close, having a big baby isn't necessary a sign of good health and can be quite a strong indicator of a potential problem.   Since I was probably one of the few people in the UK to be watching it (the rest of the country watching the final of The Apprentice) I thought that I'd mention this in by blog since it could be of interest to anyone considering starting a family who might be unaware of this.  We're led to believe that gestational diabetes is something that affects the occasional woman indiscrimately during pregnancy.  This unfortunately would not appear to be the case and you are more likely to suffer gestational diabetes if you have a bad diet.  Indeed, anyone who's considering planning a family surely wants them to have the best start in life and this knowledge could be a useful motivational diet tool.

The Seven Sisters

I was on my way home from work yesterday and suddenly felt claustrophobic at the thought so instead took a detour. 

Proof that we walked down.  The grass down here is so bouncy I've always walked this bit barefoot.

 

Taking a few moments out to enjoy a good book and the sea air and view... bliss

 

I used to come down here on a weekly basis.  Can't remember why or when I stopped - the detour was so worth it.

 

Heavy mobile phone user?

Maybe this is an old one but it's a new one to me. Gotta share it!  Mobile phones don't frazzle your brain ...

Watch here.  Freaky

"Man overboard"

What was as I saying something the other week about having my ship in order.  Well it sank.

It's not that I've been off paleo in terms of the place I was before.  It's just that lately it's been 80:20, and that's simply not good enough for me.  It represents a slippery slop and letting the occasional thing back could potentially lead to a huge binge.  

 

So far the 20% has been things like a bit of cheese (and ketchup) to my morning omelet, a pinch of salt, the occasional cookie.   But, I've also noticed that I've felt nonchalant when I've examined the ingredients on the packaging. I've realized I need to keep my level annoyance up in order to keep up the motivation:)

* Thought to myself*   Really, what's sodium stearoyl-2-lactylate, polyglycerol esters (that was on the packaging of the muffin I had this morning) What the bleep is that?!  Come on Jenny, how's the bleep is your body going to process THAT, it's not natural, your body doesn't know what to do with it or where to put it.

I think part of the  problem has been with my recent interest in raw food cuisine.  Not a bad thing, but  maybe it has confused matters a little for me.  It's all very clean natural food but it's off balance my protein intake, and I know  to lose weight my diet needs to be more protein and less carbs.  Stands to reason that increasing the fruits and nuts and lowering the meats has put my plan off kilter. That said, I do intend to continue to keep the majority of my food predominantly raw, and in line with my taste preferences I foresee that my eventual paleo maintenance plan will probably lean more towards the gathered rather than the hunted.

Anyway, this week I had a small wake up call.   Oh yes, the canteen struck again. 

On Wednesday I ventured in and opted for a Chinese pork chop on stir fried vegetables.  BIG MISTAKE.  An hour or so after the meal I developed a background headache, which crescendod and by the time I got home it was a blinding headache. I won't go into all the information but with all the symptoms of a full blown migraine.

It's not like I haven't had migraines before, I used to experience regular migraines and day to day background headache.  But I have been headache free since eating paleo.

So where's this going --  MSG.  Over the years I've had a number of bad food experiences.  Stomach aches and, as I said above, very regular headaches.  However, there was really too much going on to point my finger at any one thing. However, since eating predominantly paleo on the couple of occasions I have eaten a packet of crisps (chips) my mouth become immediately blistered and burnt, and now this canteen incident.  I do believe that if your body can learn to tolerate and contend with substances when eaten regularly, giving only low grade symptoms.  But this reaction can be far more spectacular when challenged after a long period of exclusion. If nothing else it was a useful information gathering detour and answers some questions I've had about my previous headaches.

I can be my own worst enemy but I've learned my lesson.  So, although some additives may have crept back in but I'm slinging them out RIGHT NOW.   I have to recover my diet and find the right ratio of meat to raw.  Raw cuisine for me at this moment in time has a little too much to offer and it's encouraging me to overeat, albeit on nuts and fruit:)  I've also been giving myself the green light for a few other treats and I need to once again simplify my diet and endeavor to go back to a stricter paleo regime.

Confessional & THE Penny Farthing

Dear Blog.

"I sinned".

yes~ Jenny ~ weak, weak weak

...but being caught in the act WILL be an effective deterrent. 

Oh the shame of it.

This is what happened:

I rounded the corner today at work; it was the end of the day and THERE sitting on the side was a plate of biscuits.  Now usually such things are confined to the staff room - where I don't go!  Without thinking I took one and it was so, so ... goodI went back for more - two more!  Now my colleagues know about my 'unsual' diet.  They've been supportive and have really assisted by not putting temptation in my path... and you know ~sometimes~ when you're on a diet, there'll be someone who sets themselves the personal task of sabotaging it.  Not this group though.  Their support has really helped my resolve, which until recently has been unbreakable and strong.  I know it's only me who will ultimately succeed or fail, but I don't want to let down those that've encouraged me.  With this in mind I've easily been able to walk on past any temptation inadvertently left in my path.

Today however, Colleague 'B'. said, with her back to me,

"Jenny, I've left some biscuits from the meeting on the side, although I know with your diet you probably won't' want any".

She then swung round to face me ... and there I was ... looking like a bloody hamster, gob full of yummy oaty biscuit and hand hovering near my mouth ready for the next bite, as guilty as sin and no way to escape.

It was one of those awful moments when time stands still.  Complete surprise and shock on her face.  Horror on mine.  

Hysterical

Amused 'B' said

"but I see you've found them!!!" and then we both cracked up. 

Well you can't be a saint all the time.....

I think I've redeemed myself though.  Since the sun had decided to show itself on the way home I took a detour to the top of Ditchling Beacon and, biscuits in mind, went for a brisk walk along the top. I really don't know why I don't do this more often... in truth, I'm not usually the driver so the car doesn't usually want to stop. Anyway, it was beautiful and on the way home my face was glowing from the exhilaration of the brisk walk and wind, rather than my previous acute embarrassment.  

It's a snaky steep drive down, and can be a little hair raising.  Today I found myself thinking that, if I died now my last hour would have been a truly happy one. 

Finally as a completely random way to finish this entry on the way home a bizarre sight - a boy *speeding* through the village on a Penny Farthing! I kid you not.  Strange, I did wonder if it was some sort of physical challenge because it did look like really hard work.  

 

 

Discharged

Woohoo! discharged from the Diabetic Clinic!!!  I had my follow-up appointment on Tuesday.  I saw the registrar who just seemed a little bemused as to why the consultant hadn't discharged me previously.  The thing is, although my Hb A1c was really good but I can't remember what it was, at the time I was more interested in another result.  Good news is I'm now discharged from the Diabetic Clinic. 

It's pretty disappointing though.  Ever since I was in Portugal a few weeks ago I've had a persistent, painful and chesty cough, my doctor had said the usual, it was probably a virus, not that I often present with this sort of problem and I'd caught whatever on the flight.  Last week it turned chesty again and I've been feverish and exhausted.  Anyway this was the only thing of any significance I had to mention at the hospital.  So she included this in the bloods on Tuesday, the result of which showed raised inflammation markers - I saw my GP the next day with the results and he's diagnosed 'acute bronchitis' and prescribed a course of antibiotics.  Getting better, though I am disappointed ... that is to be poorly having been through the winter with hardly a hint of a cold or flu. 

Anyway not much going on this weekend I'm in recovery mode, and still in limbo unable to make plans with my house move so have pretty much stayed at home, taking it easy and baking some paleo cakes.  Not very pretty but totally yummy.