DoingTheCaveman

Goodbye Brighton

Firstly I'd like wish anyone passing by best wishes and your very good health for 2008.

This year I resolve not to make any New Year Resolutions.  Voila, nothing to fail. Although, 2008 is going to signify quite a complete lifestyle overhaul that will help my weight loss endeavor.

When you examine your life there comes a time when you may have to admit when you're simply not happy.  I've been thinking about where I am for some time, what I'm achieving (or rather not achieving) and there are areas that need refinement. Now it's time to take action.  Some of those things I won't bore you with right now, what  I'm concentrating on is work and location. 

It's scary as generally things are OK and you could just plod on; I love my job, and I live in a beautiful corner of England (South Coast of England, nr Brighton) and although beautiful it is probably one of the most expensive places in the UK to live.  It's great to be so convenient to be near London - that is - if you need to be and I don't!  Local salaries do not support the cost of living here, so I'M OFF (fingers crossed). 

What's wrong:  I guess the usual stresses - a long, long commute, or camping out during the week, full time job and additional self-employed work most evenings.  This time poverty is my biggest gripe, as I'm sure anyone reading this can relate to. 

TIME POVERTY = STRESS. 

STRESS = CORTISOL = FAT.

Addressing the issue of being time poor can only benefit my weight loss - more time for exercise, be with friends and family, plan meals and eat correctly! 

The solution: Perfectly timed for the New Year last week I was very pleased  to accept an offer on my home.  The plan is to swap the pebbly beaches of the South Coast with the equally beautiful dramatic coastline (and sandy beaches) of North Devon in the not too distant future.   It's still not the cheapest place to swap to but I have family there and can hopefully move on from apartment living and have an outside space of my very own (my green fingers are itching to go).  Once I find a new home there the huge change will be eventually leaving the job that I enjoy, with its security and the camaraderie of a great team. 

Realistically I'm going to be homeless for a while (experience has taught me how difficult it is to search for the right place from a distance), and it may take the rest of the year to complete the move.  The biggest change when I do eventually move will be working alone from home (and this does worry me slightly) but the payoff will be that I'll be able to work my own hours, take advantage of the daylight hours to get out and about, perhaps even learn to surf:) Oh don't laugh... oh well, I guess you may be right , I may be getting ahead of myself there!.   

Well it's not quite goodbye Brighton yet as unfortunately in the England until exchange of contracts nothings certain, but I'm hopeful.  It is really exciting to be able to start 2008 with the prospect of a positive new start.  To keep the weight off one needs to have a lifestyle that supports it. 

It's a fine line

Warning, this is just a rant and a  place to do so and process my thoughts so read no further if not your cup of tea.

I'm finding it difficult to suppress my current opinions on food with my immediate family and draw a line as to how much I pass on. Well I've been on a quest to discover what has driven my weight on this upwards and out of control spiral.  But on this journey I have been learning, and have the urge to cascade what I've learnt down to those that I care about, but you have to tread carefully with that.

Most of the time I'm punching myself in personal annoyance. Why the hell did I allow myself develop a weight problem. It's not as if I didn't know better either!  Heck, I have an uncle who was a chemist in the food industry back in the late 70/80s.  He changed careers and took his family off all processed foods (I recall being told that he changed career because the same ingredients that went into strawberry yogurt were the same as those that went into gravy, etc).

Anyway, during this festive period I'm feeling aggravated by the food that I observe - it's leading to some, lets say, heated discussions.  I know in the past being told not to have one would make me pick up two so I'm the last person to advise. But I have to admit I may soon join up with the food police because it really does bother me when those that I care about eat junk. 

When I mentioned to a family member that I'm totally cutting certain foods, I made the mistake of saying 'because they make me feel contaminated'.  Apparently, she tells me, these are the words used by anorexics so I should be careful not to develop an eating disorder.  Pardon - this comes from someone addicted to exercise to control and enhance their mood level.

The fact is, I have over the last 10 + years developed weight related health problems and, therefore, it should come as no surprise that I'm choosing to totally eliminate the source of my problems. The difference that this 'diet' has revealed is that there is another (darker) level of damage posed by much of the 'normal' food that ladens our cupboards (hidden sugars/corn/trans fats/soy/aspartame/MSG), not just weight gain.  Facts that niggled, but until now I never previously took steps to investigate exactly HOW toxic and damaging they were, or indeed the part they played in my weight gain.

So, I'm not sure what exactly has tipped the scale and caused me to react, but I have for a change decided to care for myself. Not simply using food as an agent raise my mood, but look after myself by investing in my health.  I am choosing to stop putting what I now recognise as s*?!*!! into my body.  After all haven't I been encouraged to stop for so long, now I'm doing so please don't hinder me. It seems that I've taken my diet onto another level, one that is less understood and goes beyond simple 'healthy eating'.  It's trickier to avoid the  s*?!*!! and I have to be vigilent but this surely doesn't mean that I'm developing an eating problem, although I am escaping one!!

The way I see it is that with there are no half measures - OH NO - this time there's no diet food, low fat, low sugar, chemical laden foods for me! 

Finally some shopping

As of yesterday I'm on my Christmas break and don't have to return until 7th January - YIPPEE.   By becoming Miss Antisocial  I've managed to get through the last couple of weeks with my diet unscathed. For me the this year the strategy I'm taking is avoidance - I want to step positively into 2008 without regret. 

Over the the last few weeks I've had some further comments about my weight loss - that I'm starting to look like 'me' again, and my face is leaner. 

Personally I feel that quite a bit of weight has gone from my back and shoulders. I have also starting to notice that my curves are reappearing.  So, although I'd decided to try and make do with my clothes until I'd lost a more weight necessity forced me to shop for some jeans today, only to find that I haven't dropped just one dress size but several.  Previously I was forced to wear 24/26 (UK) and sometimes even a 28.  Today however I was able to purchase jeans at 18/20.  They're still not the best fit, but this time it's not that they're too tight.  Instead I had to compromise with too much material in the legs for a snug fit at the waist.

Given today's changing sizes I've taken my measurements - shame I didn't do this from the start! Actually my waist measurement was done at the doctors Jan07 and it was 46 inches.   Today's measurements:

Waist 40",  hips 48", back 38", thigh 24", calf 17"

I'm thrilled there's nothing that makes a woman happier than a decreasing dress size!!

Adventures with alchemy

Something I've noticed over the last few months has been the absence of migraines and headaches. That was until Monday when an almighty migraine struck, shortly before bed and then kept me awake most of the night and lasted until today. It included a few extra symptoms I personally don't experience with my migraines (magnified sound and feeling of separation and distance).

In the past the my migraines strangely seemed appear on Saturdays and could continue through to Monday.  Eventually I built up an embarrassing pattern of sickies!  The doctor's suggestion was that may be the effect of winding down at the weekend.  However, once again I now suspect it was simply diet. 

It was not until yesterday evening that it eventually dawned on me what the trigger for Monday's migraine was!

Over the last week I've been blissed out with the re-discovery of cacao.  I haven't been sure whether it's strictly acceptable on the Caveman diet (being a bean) and hence my slightly bizarre post on Sunday.

I'd eagerly awaited my chocolate bars and have been nibbling these over the last week or so.  There' s no sugar in them, just natural diabetic friendlier sweetners such as agave nectar, lucuma and mequite.  However, they were also extremely expensive so on Monday I decided to rustle up my own pudding (soaking macademia nuts in 1/2 an orange, 1 medjool date to sweeten and cocao nibs and blending to create a small creamy chocolate pudding).  I estimated a measure for the cocao and guess I must have added too much!  Note - a regular Cadbury's bar contains something like 15% chocolate.  In contrast with my own concocotion I was generous with the cocao, extremely generous.  If fact of one thing I'm certain, I have probably never in my life had that amount of straight cacao in one hit - still buzzzzzzing.

What am I?

 

re-discovered and ??? allowable on the Caveman diet.

Rapidly rising

Whoah, it's worse than I could have imagined, I've regained all the weight I lost during the week I was ill, plus a little more.  My weight this morning was 14 stone 6 lb.  So I've regained everything I lost during the week I was poorly, plus an additional 3 lb.  I've remained on the diet over the last week, although haven't really felt like meat so have had more vegetables, fruit and seeds so don't really understand the gain. 

Sought comfort this morning with coffee and apricot danish. 

Where did the fat come from (13 - 19) photos

Many pics seem to have gone missing over the years but have scraped a few, but they're not the most flattering.

Roughly in order of my age.  The first is definitely when I was starting to worry about my weight and when my teeth were becoming a problem. The second, just for my own amusement, what on earth was a doing in shorts on what looks like a bleak wet and cold day in the Yorkshire Moors?  The final pics below are around the age of 17 (bad hair days).

Where did the fat come from (13 - 19)

As I went into my teens I lost confidence in my appearance - my teeth went goofy and was a little plump, but probably not as much as I'd thought at the time.  My self-esteem plummeted and for a couple of years I wore braces.  But it was at the age of 14 is probably the age I started developing my bad relationship with food.  This was the age when my parents strictness around food and sweets started to seriously unravel - I started to eat secretly ! 

At 14 I had weekend jobs and own small income, and with this I began to over indulge and secretly comfort eat.  Walking the dog  gave the opportunity to have some privacy and to stock up.  However, I had to ensure all the evidence was disposed of by the time I arrived home (this could have been several packets of crisps and bars of chocolate at a time)!  I had a companion, whose parents were far stricter than mine and used to search her bags on arrival home.  Maybe it was our form of teenage form of rebellion.  Funny really, how innocent our sins were, if we'd lived elsewhere it could have been far more sinister!

I know now these habits could possibly be classified as compulsive eating but I wasn't aware of this at the time.  I was walking the dog everyday (oh lucky dog she was so well walked) and taking part in other physical activities so wasn't gaining too much weight.  But around the age of 15 the over indulgence began to show.  I started to talk to friends about going on a diet until one day several of my friends cornered me in the cloak room and told me off. 

'you're always saying you're going on a diet but you never do, when are you actually going to do it, you're starting to get fat ....' 

They meant well but I was shocked and infuriated and prompted me to take action - I stopped eating!

I can be quite exact about the diet thereafter since there wasn't much to it.  Over the next year all I ate was a plain jacket potato with salt & pepper every other day at school or so, a piece of fruit on the alternate day, or a finger of fudge (it had 99 calories).  I told my parents I'd eaten at school so didn't need an evening meal and saved my dinner money. I weighed myself several times a day, noted my weights, drew up target charts and exercised hard.  I became quite obsessed by feeling of my emerging collar bone, hips and ribs, and did huge numbers of sit-ups in the evening. I maintained my weight at 98 lb and enjoyed the compliments that were rolling in.

I know now, of course, that these signs were the beginnings of a dangerous route.  Ironically funny that I should find myself at two opposite ends of a weight problem.  Fortunately I was otherwise happy and these habits faded round about the age of 16 or 17 and I moved onto 6th form college for A levels and was excited about the future, aiming to go into nursing. I lived quite a healthy active outdoors lifestyle enjoying anything that involved outdoor pursuits or expeditions until I was 19. Gradually my eating habits normalized, anyway I'd never actually viewed myself as having a problem with food.  My weight went up to around 119 lb which I maintained, always confident in the knowledge that I had the ability to fast if need be!

I've found a few photos but will post these next time.

My greens are from Mars

I do seem to keep having bad experiences with food, even my greens!  Over the summer I purchased purple sprouting broccoli, packaged up as organic.  But my meal quickly ground to a halt, what the ***** was in my purple sprouting.  All the way up within the stem was this brilliant white rubbery/polystyrene material, rather like cigarette butt.  Well it certainly didn't look like any broccoli I'd ever consumed before, but seemed to have grown with the stem so I did consider that it might be the sap.  Anyway I complained to the supermarket and they whisked it away to be tested.  A few weeks later an apology letter followed -apologizing for the 'non-organic material that was found in our food but no explanation. Have a look, I took some photos but very poor quality I'm afraid.  If anyone can enlighten me as to what exactly it is I'd be very interested to know.