Know thyself

The words "Know Thyself" were long ago inscribed in Greek on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. Ancient philosophers understood the great value in truly knowing oneself, because with such knowledge can come change. Introspection and self-understanding can help us examine ourselves so we can develop the character we desire, and avoid behaviors that lead to unhappiness.

So what made you fat? 

I saw these questions the other day on escape from obesity and thought they'd be useful to address.  My blog for me has been very much about understanding the causes in order to move forward.

1. What types of food were you most likely to overeat?  Cheese, bread and anything sweet.  Plus, for me, a meal had to be a complete meal, by which I mean that, hungry or not, a main meal wouldn't feel complete unless it had dessert. 

2. What times of day did you overeat most often? I'm a very habitual eater and although my real danger times were in the evenings if I started a daily habit such as a donut with coffee, it could easily become a daily habit.  For example, I was once temping on a job and on the way I changed at a station which had a particular latte and caramel donut I loved.  Before long I started to treat myself daily for breakfast.  On my journey back to the station I started visualising that stall/latte and donut and before long I started picking one up after work too.  Even when I changed my job and no longer passed through this station I went off route in order to get my hands on my daily donut.

3. What feelings were you having most often when you overate?  At the times I've overeaten I really wasn't there I can't recall feelings as such; mindless, trance like and very relaxed.  Only afterwards would I investigate or find the wrappers and think OMG what have I done. 

4. Do you think you have a binge eating disorder? Yes, although someone once said to me that every woman has an eating disorder which I think could be true.  Looking back most many female friends I've known have had an experience somewhere on the spectrum of eating disorders, including several friends, my mother and sister.  I also think at the age of 15 I almost gravitated to the opposite end of an eating disorder. 

5. What circumstances in your life do you believe contributed to your weight gain? Lack of time for myself and eating quick and convenient cafeteria foods.  When I really started to gain my excess weight I was an undergraduate and financially stressed.  I'd then broken up from my long term then fiance because of the intense negativity from my family.  He'd then passed away unexpectedly but I had to silently grieve for him because my family had never accepted relationship and since they didn't care for him didn't recognise my sorrow. I think I used food as a comforting crutch. Additionally I was commuting 3 hours daily each way and this left very little time for food preparation and plenty of opportunities to snatch junk food on the run.

6. Do you 'blame' anyone for your weight? Mmmm I think I'm going to skip this one, for now.

7. What other behaviors made you overweight?  Lyn mentioned avoiding activity and withdrawing from friends in her answer to this question.  It's kind of chicken and an egg.  I was inactive and also withdrew from quite a few friendships and activities but I was feeling pretty rough and tired and I didn't really have the energy to maintain them, so I'm not really sure which came first. I used to enjoy exercise, but I never really got myself in a position where I felt well enough to get going again.

8. Were you active or exercising while you gained weight? No

9. Why did you choose that activity level? Lack of leisure time.  I would wake for work at 5am to leave and on a bad day I may have not been home at 10pm and I really couldn't see an opportunity to exercise (the commute did include time spent on a 10 minute brisk walk to and from the station at either end).

10. What made you finally want to change?   Health, and I want to stop seeing a stranger daily in the mirror.

Comments

[justoofat]

I've been reading this lists all around and I find them so interesting, though I've yet to pinpoint my own answers. That said, I think this kind of self-reflection is so very healthy. Good for you for taking the time to analyze your behavior for the sake of changing it. I'm confident that it will serve you well.

j