DoingTheCaveman

Looking out from paper mountain & Why, why, why

Yay :) great to return to blogland.  After mopping up all the loose ends of moving house and the struggle to fight my way out from under paper mountain I've had a gum infection under my wisdom teeth.  This seems to happen every single time I move house and left me far too grumpy to blog -- Boohoo --  Isn't strange how stress seems to manifest itself in your mouth!!  Anyway, as things start to calm down and brain fog and grump induced by housemoving and toothache lifts justoofat has taken the pressure of a return blog topic out of my hands and laid down the challenge of listing all the reasons why we want to lose weight. 

Great timing as I'm at the gateway of a fresh start in more ways than one, albeit with a weight problem. This is a useful visualization exercise to conjure up each and every-time I pass the addictive cheesy pastries and donuts at the uni coffee shop.

So, WHY, WHY, WHY am I doing this ...  

Cosmetic and self-esteem:

1. Recognise and *connect* with the person I see in the mirror.
2. Not to be the ugly sister.
3. I used to be described as self-assured and I I no longer feel this way. Currently I even seem to have developed a minor stutter. Despite weight-loss confidence is at an all time low.
4. To shop in 'normal' places and not pay a premium for over-sized clothes. Goal reached!!
5. Have a tiny waist and one chin again.
6. To melt into a crowd and to take up less space.
7. Wear a swimsuit on a beach and feel comfortable.

Health

1. To wave off the diabetes and alleviate the symptoms of PCOS (as far as is possible). This is a goal where I feel is I am well on the way!
2. Not to have knee pain.
3. Visit the doctor and be confident in the knowledge that he/she will investigate any problem appropriately, in the same way that would investigate the same problem presented by someone of a normal weight.

Fitness & incentives:

1. Rain-forest canopy and zip-line trip. This is the kind of activity that inspires me to lose weight.
2. Tennis, yeah I'd like to return to playing tennis. Actually if I lost weight I'd like to beat my mum who at 62 is still an awesome tennis player.
3. Major one - go skiing again. Perhaps have a go at snowboarding as this hadn't been invented the last time I was able to ski.
4. Canoe in rapids.
5. Go hiking in the Alps and not worry about slowing down the group.
6. Try surfing or at least go on one of those banana rides!!!

Finally a secret reason I'll let you in on another time, maybe.

Although I'll proably think of loads more once I post this to sum it  up I want to feel healthy, fit, agile, nimble again, and not to be the ugly sister!

 

 Don't worry i will survive, sis pic used with permission!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Out of Limbo Land

Happy Birthday to me,

 (UPDATE: Yesterday, delay in entry)

Well the day started of starting well because of the title of the entry and of course the date and then turned suddenly turned nasty at work before hand of the clock even came round to 9 because I found myself the victim of a bullying incident.  I was going to call it 'covert' but I've just looked up bullying definitions and this comes into the realm of 'obvious bullying'.  Anyway this is the second incident this year and has really knocked my confidence, just as I was re-garining it, forcing me  to hide in in the bookshelves in order to shed some silent tears.

GREAT start to my Birthday.

On to happier things.  Panic stations!!  As I was heading towards a record breaking  7 month house sale  I've finally exchanged!  Yippee *skips around the room*.   Move date is Monday 23rd, although I had wanted 2 weeks between exchange and completion.  Anyway it's all pretty legally binding now.  All pretty scarey since we have the petrol strike going on this weekend (including Monday & Friday) in the UK.   It could all go horribly wrong!!  If I could score my levels of anxiety it's pretty much 10/10 at the moment.

The outcome of this is I'm either going to go one of two ways I'm either going to eat everything in sight or not at all.  I think it's going to be the latter and given that I've just finishing this at 6 am having been awake since 4 am.

Anyway, his will be my last post for a a few days.  Is there such a think as computer withdrawal?   I feel as if I'm already suffering symptoms, my first job today is to pack up the computer *sobs* until I don't know when *sobs*.

Finally, and the main reason for this is post is I need to become more social and more accountable, join in a challenge, set some goals, and to this end I've joined the Bloggers Biggest Loser Challenge.  Seems great fun and I'm looking forward to joining in.

 

Nature is bountiful

I was bereft.

Yes I was.

No more cookies, no more cakes, no more dairy, no more chocolate....

Believe you me I resisted, I stamped my feet and I fought.

When I've followed other diets the goal at the other end has always been to be able to eat 'normally' again.  Yet, somehow manage my weight along with my favourite products.

Pray to stay thin, pray to be well.

No, no, no...

Well I wanted to cook.  I enjoy the cooking process but when I started the paleo diet - well - it would be just for a while, just while I lost weight.    Cooking the way food as I knew it  (standard UK diet) well that's not exactly paleo is it? 

Life was about to change, so yes I was bereft.  I felt limited by my future paleo foods, and I was scared to be bored. 

But I've gone through a gradual process of realisation - that I could *never* really go backwards.. and *shock* I enjoy my new way of life.

As it happens I've never been in the kitchen more.  Believe you me, I am enjoying my food so, so much more than before. You can't really overeat on this diet. This is a totally safe arena for me to play in. 

I've been dabbling in another way of eating and style of food preperation and eating that works well alongside my paleo diet.  Now, I'm not going to come out about that yet but it's a foodie wonderland and boy am I having fun playing.

The fun has only just begun...

~ nature is bountiful ~

January's progress

Remember the loss I reported mid-month, well since there's been no further progress. *Sigh* 

But, I do think someone's sabotaging my scales!!!

By this I mean physically I do feel as if I've lost weight.  The little things that most people take for granted have become so much easier to do.  For example, if something fell on the floor previously I'd have to psyche myself up before attempting to retrieve it - not laziness just pain.  Most worryingly for me my knees would shriek and it would be a huge effort to rise from a crouching position.  However, now I can easily swoop down, or crouch and rise without any effort at all.  Personally I feel a bounce has returned to my step, so I can now easily nip in and out of small spaces or run up steps - taking them two at a time (when no one's looking)!

I've received a number of positive comments this month.  On Thursday a colleagues said "you're melting away", to which I replied that she must be mistaken, I hadn't lost any more weight this month.  "No, no" she said "your trousers are really loose, maybe your fat is redistributing, but you've definitely lost weight".

Does fat redistrute, or is it my scales?

Well what's for February. 

1. I still have that 1/2 stone to lose to get to my first goal but I do know what I have to increase the exercise side of things to get there.  With my life upside down at the moment what's fallen to the wayside has been exercise -- it simply ain't happening at the moment. 
2. I see my general practitioner this month for my annual review.  I'm a little worried as my sugar may have crept up a touch.... there's only been the previously stated blip but I have eaten a lot of fruit over the last couple of months, not forgetting the dates.
3. Today I added another goal, and an ambitious one...

Over the last few months my eyes have been turning to a bright shade of green. Last year my sister moved to Devon and has been learning to surf - yes right through our British Winter!   I simply can't wait to join her.  Today, I was parked near the sea and someone out there kite surfing (which they do on our South Coast). Wow, the speed and the jumps, it looks so exhillerating.  Yes, I know you don't *have* to lose weight to have a go but you do have to sqeeze into an unflattering wet suit!

Baby steps

Finally my weight has started on a downward trend and I'm starting to believe that this year further loss will follow.  Therefore,  I'm daring to set my first goal.  The weight I have in mind is 12 stone 13 lb (181 lb OR 82.1 kg).  I know it's not a nice round number but it represents 3 stone from the time I started this journey.  More significantly it will be the lowest weight I've been for over 10 years.  I'm not to sure yet what my ultimate goal will be, but I think at 5' 3"  my correct weight would fall between 8 & 10 stone.  However, my obesity actually sits on a very petite frame so possibly I should be aiming for 8 stone (50 kg).   Six months ago that would have seemed an impossible dream but now I'm positive it's a realistic final goal to set. 

* SIGHS *  I'm still not halfway, aiming for 8 stone that's another 5 stone to go.

Goodbye Brighton

Firstly I'd like wish anyone passing by best wishes and your very good health for 2008.

This year I resolve not to make any New Year Resolutions.  Voila, nothing to fail. Although, 2008 is going to signify quite a complete lifestyle overhaul that will help my weight loss endeavor.

When you examine your life there comes a time when you may have to admit when you're simply not happy.  I've been thinking about where I am for some time, what I'm achieving (or rather not achieving) and there are areas that need refinement. Now it's time to take action.  Some of those things I won't bore you with right now, what  I'm concentrating on is work and location. 

It's scary as generally things are OK and you could just plod on; I love my job, and I live in a beautiful corner of England (South Coast of England, nr Brighton) and although beautiful it is probably one of the most expensive places in the UK to live.  It's great to be so convenient to be near London - that is - if you need to be and I don't!  Local salaries do not support the cost of living here, so I'M OFF (fingers crossed). 

What's wrong:  I guess the usual stresses - a long, long commute, or camping out during the week, full time job and additional self-employed work most evenings.  This time poverty is my biggest gripe, as I'm sure anyone reading this can relate to. 

TIME POVERTY = STRESS. 

STRESS = CORTISOL = FAT.

Addressing the issue of being time poor can only benefit my weight loss - more time for exercise, be with friends and family, plan meals and eat correctly! 

The solution: Perfectly timed for the New Year last week I was very pleased  to accept an offer on my home.  The plan is to swap the pebbly beaches of the South Coast with the equally beautiful dramatic coastline (and sandy beaches) of North Devon in the not too distant future.   It's still not the cheapest place to swap to but I have family there and can hopefully move on from apartment living and have an outside space of my very own (my green fingers are itching to go).  Once I find a new home there the huge change will be eventually leaving the job that I enjoy, with its security and the camaraderie of a great team. 

Realistically I'm going to be homeless for a while (experience has taught me how difficult it is to search for the right place from a distance), and it may take the rest of the year to complete the move.  The biggest change when I do eventually move will be working alone from home (and this does worry me slightly) but the payoff will be that I'll be able to work my own hours, take advantage of the daylight hours to get out and about, perhaps even learn to surf:) Oh don't laugh... oh well, I guess you may be right , I may be getting ahead of myself there!.   

Well it's not quite goodbye Brighton yet as unfortunately in the England until exchange of contracts nothings certain, but I'm hopeful.  It is really exciting to be able to start 2008 with the prospect of a positive new start.  To keep the weight off one needs to have a lifestyle that supports it. 

My carrot

I'm trying not to feal disheartened but this month my weight seems to have stayed static, although I am constantly having to hitch up my jeans.  To keep my spirits up and remind myself why I'm doing this I've made a little montage.  This is where I'd like to be this time next year (excuse the picture it's very badly put together but you get the gist).  The last time I skied I promised myself that if I did nothing else I'd ski at least once a year.  Unfortunately, that was the last time I fit into my ski clothes and the last time I went.  I reckon by now  I owe myself at least a 20 weeks so I guess I should start saving.  This my ultimate reward, if and when I manage to lose the weight - what's yours?

September's progress

OK, so there's no fanfare this month.  My weight loss did slow up a little this month so I've finished the month at 14 stone 8 lb (93 kg). 

I was secretly hoping for another stone so obviously am a little disappointed but all the same, 5 lb (2.26 kg), that's still a loss of just over a lb a week (I didn't gain and I didn't simply maintain, 'I lost'!).

So this month it was secret and it didn't work, the strategy this month has to be, it's no secret, I'm going for a stone and I'm going to achieve it!