DoingTheCaveman

Looking out from paper mountain & Why, why, why

Yay :) great to return to blogland.  After mopping up all the loose ends of moving house and the struggle to fight my way out from under paper mountain I've had a gum infection under my wisdom teeth.  This seems to happen every single time I move house and left me far too grumpy to blog -- Boohoo --  Isn't strange how stress seems to manifest itself in your mouth!!  Anyway, as things start to calm down and brain fog and grump induced by housemoving and toothache lifts justoofat has taken the pressure of a return blog topic out of my hands and laid down the challenge of listing all the reasons why we want to lose weight. 

Great timing as I'm at the gateway of a fresh start in more ways than one, albeit with a weight problem. This is a useful visualization exercise to conjure up each and every-time I pass the addictive cheesy pastries and donuts at the uni coffee shop.

So, WHY, WHY, WHY am I doing this ...  

Cosmetic and self-esteem:

1. Recognise and *connect* with the person I see in the mirror.
2. Not to be the ugly sister.
3. I used to be described as self-assured and I I no longer feel this way. Currently I even seem to have developed a minor stutter. Despite weight-loss confidence is at an all time low.
4. To shop in 'normal' places and not pay a premium for over-sized clothes. Goal reached!!
5. Have a tiny waist and one chin again.
6. To melt into a crowd and to take up less space.
7. Wear a swimsuit on a beach and feel comfortable.

Health

1. To wave off the diabetes and alleviate the symptoms of PCOS (as far as is possible). This is a goal where I feel is I am well on the way!
2. Not to have knee pain.
3. Visit the doctor and be confident in the knowledge that he/she will investigate any problem appropriately, in the same way that would investigate the same problem presented by someone of a normal weight.

Fitness & incentives:

1. Rain-forest canopy and zip-line trip. This is the kind of activity that inspires me to lose weight.
2. Tennis, yeah I'd like to return to playing tennis. Actually if I lost weight I'd like to beat my mum who at 62 is still an awesome tennis player.
3. Major one - go skiing again. Perhaps have a go at snowboarding as this hadn't been invented the last time I was able to ski.
4. Canoe in rapids.
5. Go hiking in the Alps and not worry about slowing down the group.
6. Try surfing or at least go on one of those banana rides!!!

Finally a secret reason I'll let you in on another time, maybe.

Although I'll proably think of loads more once I post this to sum it  up I want to feel healthy, fit, agile, nimble again, and not to be the ugly sister!

 

 Don't worry i will survive, sis pic used with permission!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Escape from the micro Kingdom of Mrs B-A

Yeehaa!

A very quick post to update you with news of my newly found freedom.   As the trend of the sale has gone so far went the solicitor phoned me half an hour ago (3 hours late) to let me know that the sale is now complete.  Phew.

I'm now homeless... Well not quite, but I'm in a temporary arrangement.   I'll tell you about that in another entry. Unfortunately, given the current trend of the housing market, it looks as though my planned short stay could become protracted. 

As my furniture was removed on Friday I had a 'ground open and swallow me' moment when the removal men lifted the bed to reveal the axe my husband used to store under it, probably to chop of my head!!!

Other than that we've spent the weekend integrating the furniture of two houses into one and hauling boxes into the loft and summer house (again more about that later).  Anyway, I'm exhaused so this is just a brief post to update.

Food: Yep it went the wrong way.  If I'd been a smoker I would have been a chain smoker but for me anxiety and hand to mouth comfort means biccies and crisps.  Cavemen & women didn't suffer this kind of stress.

Out of Limbo Land

Happy Birthday to me,

 (UPDATE: Yesterday, delay in entry)

Well the day started of starting well because of the title of the entry and of course the date and then turned suddenly turned nasty at work before hand of the clock even came round to 9 because I found myself the victim of a bullying incident.  I was going to call it 'covert' but I've just looked up bullying definitions and this comes into the realm of 'obvious bullying'.  Anyway this is the second incident this year and has really knocked my confidence, just as I was re-garining it, forcing me  to hide in in the bookshelves in order to shed some silent tears.

GREAT start to my Birthday.

On to happier things.  Panic stations!!  As I was heading towards a record breaking  7 month house sale  I've finally exchanged!  Yippee *skips around the room*.   Move date is Monday 23rd, although I had wanted 2 weeks between exchange and completion.  Anyway it's all pretty legally binding now.  All pretty scarey since we have the petrol strike going on this weekend (including Monday & Friday) in the UK.   It could all go horribly wrong!!  If I could score my levels of anxiety it's pretty much 10/10 at the moment.

The outcome of this is I'm either going to go one of two ways I'm either going to eat everything in sight or not at all.  I think it's going to be the latter and given that I've just finishing this at 6 am having been awake since 4 am.

Anyway, his will be my last post for a a few days.  Is there such a think as computer withdrawal?   I feel as if I'm already suffering symptoms, my first job today is to pack up the computer *sobs* until I don't know when *sobs*.

Finally, and the main reason for this is post is I need to become more social and more accountable, join in a challenge, set some goals, and to this end I've joined the Bloggers Biggest Loser Challenge.  Seems great fun and I'm looking forward to joining in.

 

Foraging in the kitchen

Although I returned from holiday without any diet damage I'm not doing March's progress this month.

Why?- because I've had a mini diet tumble this week. One large enough to make the scales an ominous no go zone.  I don't need them though, I *know* the damage has been done.  My clothes, which were wonderfully loose pre-holiday, in one week have tightened and my skin is inflamed and itchy.

Of course any binge has to have a trigger and this was no exception. 'The move'.  Yes I know, you thought that had happened months ago....

Well it's not on schedule and I'm preparing myself for disappointment regards my potential move to Devon. 

I'd left for hols having completed all the necessary paperwork and arrangements made for for the exchange to happen before my return.  But, what was in the letterbox on my return, yes a duplicate of the contract I'd previously signed.  Then to top it off I'm still feeling really rough - I've had the same continuous painful dry cough and can't even talk or sleep for persistent coughing.

The appearance of this contract and uncertainty has triggered a carb and salt hunt.   

The mission has been to get to all the things that are usually kept out of sight and mind.  Yes well generally things I shouldn't eat is hidden away and out of reach.  Acquiring them is purposely an expedition.

Picture this.  My apartment is Victorian and has 16 foot ceilings.  I have a hidy-hole cupboard knocked into the top of wall at the the far end of the kitchen work-surface, although you can't climb directly up without falling backwards because of the wall units.  So, anything I don't eat I like to keep of sight and hidden (by those nimbler than me) and so usually are safe from chubby fingers. 

But when you're determined and on a mission nothing's gonna stop you!

Anyway said expedition entails taking kitchen chair to the opposite end of 16 foot work space.  Here you can climb up without immediately confronting the wall units.  Remember to collect fish-slice or other long implement on route; climb on chair and then step up on to work-surface; on tiptoes balance along the edge of work-surface, using fingertips on the top of the panels for balance; sideways edge along stretch of work-surface; at half way point step across cooker; to avoid extractor lean backwards as you do so before continuing along the work-surface; take the fish-slice and insert under door of high cupboard that has no handle; prise open; stretch up and blindly rummage for goodies; once acquired grip bag of crisps between teeth and return via the same route; hanging onto the underside of cupboard, pray and *hopefully* step back onto chair and jump down. 

Mission accomplished.

 

 

With my character type being that of the half full bottle you could look at this (diet failure) another way - I am becoming more agile:)

Counting sheep & update

A wee update on the week.  I've received fantastic news - my solicitor phoned last night to say that Miss *-* has backed down on everything.  So, I spent the afternoon signing papers and hopefully it should all be OK now.  This means that should the sale fall through, for any reason, there should no longer be a problem selling (apart from the state of the housing market) - Phew.

I do feel a little guilty about calling Miss *-* a witch in the heat of the moment (only in the blog of course, but I don't like that).  I may go and see her tomorrow with some flowers to keep things amicable. 

This week's taken its toll in a few ways though. Normally I sleep well but I've had only a couple of hours each night and panicking in the knowledge that work is only a couple of hours away. Also, I simply couldn't face the exercise class I've been taking (good job I didn't make those resolutions) and didn't have the inclination for spending time on food preparation.  Therefore, the week's been pretty much like the first few weeks of paleo, and I've SO moved on from there.   I've also had a strange craving for salt, where that's coming from I don't know.

Life causes diet crisis

This is not a strictly diet related post but I feel the need for a space to let rip somewhere. Another one of those little rants, that come with a warning you may not to be bother reading this.

Although in my mind a huge comfort binge is calling, this is one of those occasions I can't even eat I feel so choked.

After being high with optismism for a new start for 2008 it appears I may have been scuppered.  The freeholder of my property has reneged on her previous deal for a lease extension without restrictions that my sale depends on.  Indeed if she wins it seems I'll be stuck where I am for ever more.  Last week I saw the film Duplex and, funny as it was, boy did I get a feeling of deja vu.  My neighbour doesn't want to lose her nice errand running neighbour without forcing me to pay handsomly in my bid for escape - I live in the micro Kingdom of Miss *-*

As my solicitor said in his letter to me 'I am hoping to prevail in resisting the outrageous attempt of Miss *-* at opportunism'.

Sorry about that I feel a bit better now although I swear a witch lives beneath me.  Excuse that too as I'm not usually a name calling person.

I think I'll set up a new category 'the move' and if there are any more posts like this I can hide them away there, I'm trying to refrain from calling this post 'the witch downstairs'.  But wasn't it the Wicked Witch of the West that held Dorothy captive.  Ha, I need some red slippers before I really embarass myself.