DoingTheCaveman

Oh what a year.

Has it been obvious I've been flagging of late.  I see my consultant on Tuesday and I think the thought of this has caused made me to struggle over the last couple of weeks, quietly sabotaging myself.  So instead of writing a load of c**p I read through my previous posts in order to remind myself why I'm observing this way of eating (WOE), and indeed the desperate point I came from.

The last year has been a journey I'd never expected, not only the weight-loss and my attitudes to food but also where I see myself going with life in general.

It has been an evolving process and there have been a few painful steps too.

# One :  Quite simply indignation that a doctor, who I'd never met before, was making assumptions, stereotyping and accusing me of seeking for a magic pill for weight-loss.

# Two : The anger and indignation snapped me out of my apathy, and possibly depression.

I knew, from being a fatigued lifetime dieter, that other dieting models didn't work for me.  When I wasn't overeating from the frustration of repeated failures I was eating a 'normal SUKD. When I saw my consultant I was just eating the reduced diet I'd been advised, so was fuming at his disbelief.  I left the consultant determined to prove him wrong, but what was I to do.  I felt that the only way left to me for weight loss was to completely stop eating! So for the first few days this is what I did.

# Three :  It was perfectly timed that following the week of *that* humiliating hospital appointment I should run into the paleo diet and the concept made simple sense to me.  I/we were getting fat because we were eating in a way that biologically we weren't designed for.  In other words, accepted 'normal' healthy eating was false and I was simply eating way more than my body required.

A lesson I've learnt over the past year is that there is something intrinsically wrong with the food pyramid and the advice provided doesn't necessarily come from health sources.  If you make a worldwide comparison, you can see that that but every country has its own food pyramid. Surely, the fact that there are so many variations highlights the fact that we are confused about what we should be eating.

# Four :  I started to eat paleo and my blood sugar readings normalised within a couple of weeks and the weight loss followed. 

# Five : As far as I could see, with the success so far, it was down the the chemical overload I/we were eating.  I went on a literature rampage, not difficult when you work in a university library - my appetite for periodicals and food related books became bigger than my appetite for food.  I was very, very annoyed - I'd been poisoned, manipulated by the food industry. I felt like a pawn in a mass conspiracy, a £ on legs.  I could have blogged (ranted) more, but for life getting in the way.

# Six :  Next I became a little over zealous and recruited myself into the food police.  I'd got my ship in order, but now everyone around me were, like madmen, munching questionable food, and boy my immediate family were in for a hard time :)

# Seven :  I've entered another phase now - a quite phase. I'm settling into this WOE and I'm still blogging and recording my progress and probably will be ranting some more, but offline I'm not advertising my diet as much and instead just getting quietly on with it.  It's easier to say that I'm gluten/dairy intolerant in social situations, but if I'm asked how I'm losing the weight paleo will get the credit.

This WOE though has opened up some new interests and lifestyle (basically naturapathy Vs allopathy, herbalism, permaculture and raw foodism etc). Last year I would have considered it all a little too alternative, despite being a Brightonian! 

So anyway when this post started it it was only meant to be a few short paragraphs to let you know that I was going to have a blog tidy up.  Refresh my own memory as to why as to why I'm on this journey and the posts that I consider to be the most representative of it in the sidebar. 

I know I have to step it up if I'm to shift my weight any further and for the next year, that of course has to be exercise.  I sometimes have to remind myself that, for me, it's not simply about weight loss, it's the fact that a year ago I did have the threat of insulin looming over me and that's (hopefully) a mere memory.  My journey is one about fighting a common and modern disease by stepping back in time.

Know thyself

The words "Know Thyself" were long ago inscribed in Greek on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. Ancient philosophers understood the great value in truly knowing oneself, because with such knowledge can come change. Introspection and self-understanding can help us examine ourselves so we can develop the character we desire, and avoid behaviors that lead to unhappiness.

So what made you fat? 

I saw these questions the other day on escape from obesity and thought they'd be useful to address.  My blog for me has been very much about understanding the causes in order to move forward.

1. What types of food were you most likely to overeat?  Cheese, bread and anything sweet.  Plus, for me, a meal had to be a complete meal, by which I mean that, hungry or not, a main meal wouldn't feel complete unless it had dessert. 

2. What times of day did you overeat most often? I'm a very habitual eater and although my real danger times were in the evenings if I started a daily habit such as a donut with coffee, it could easily become a daily habit.  For example, I was once temping on a job and on the way I changed at a station which had a particular latte and caramel donut I loved.  Before long I started to treat myself daily for breakfast.  On my journey back to the station I started visualising that stall/latte and donut and before long I started picking one up after work too.  Even when I changed my job and no longer passed through this station I went off route in order to get my hands on my daily donut.

3. What feelings were you having most often when you overate?  At the times I've overeaten I really wasn't there I can't recall feelings as such; mindless, trance like and very relaxed.  Only afterwards would I investigate or find the wrappers and think OMG what have I done. 

4. Do you think you have a binge eating disorder? Yes, although someone once said to me that every woman has an eating disorder which I think could be true.  Looking back most many female friends I've known have had an experience somewhere on the spectrum of eating disorders, including several friends, my mother and sister.  I also think at the age of 15 I almost gravitated to the opposite end of an eating disorder. 

5. What circumstances in your life do you believe contributed to your weight gain? Lack of time for myself and eating quick and convenient cafeteria foods.  When I really started to gain my excess weight I was an undergraduate and financially stressed.  I'd then broken up from my long term then fiance because of the intense negativity from my family.  He'd then passed away unexpectedly but I had to silently grieve for him because my family had never accepted relationship and since they didn't care for him didn't recognise my sorrow. I think I used food as a comforting crutch. Additionally I was commuting 3 hours daily each way and this left very little time for food preparation and plenty of opportunities to snatch junk food on the run.

6. Do you 'blame' anyone for your weight? Mmmm I think I'm going to skip this one, for now.

7. What other behaviors made you overweight?  Lyn mentioned avoiding activity and withdrawing from friends in her answer to this question.  It's kind of chicken and an egg.  I was inactive and also withdrew from quite a few friendships and activities but I was feeling pretty rough and tired and I didn't really have the energy to maintain them, so I'm not really sure which came first. I used to enjoy exercise, but I never really got myself in a position where I felt well enough to get going again.

8. Were you active or exercising while you gained weight? No

9. Why did you choose that activity level? Lack of leisure time.  I would wake for work at 5am to leave and on a bad day I may have not been home at 10pm and I really couldn't see an opportunity to exercise (the commute did include time spent on a 10 minute brisk walk to and from the station at either end).

10. What made you finally want to change?   Health, and I want to stop seeing a stranger daily in the mirror.

RAW at the Earthship

Can you take me to the Earthship? 

Yes the driver did do a double take when I stepped into his taxi and gave this instruction on Saturday.

Time to come out. 

If you didn't realise my post last week nature is bountiful post was related to raw foodism and the fact that it has over the last 6 months become a significant element of my own paleo diet.

Indeed, it's becoming a dilemma as to which direction I'm ultimately going to take myself since, generally, those practising raw foodism tend to be raw vegans/vegetarians, whereas 'the paleo diet' has its obvious meat content.  There is, however, quite a bit of crossover such as foraging, not eating man made foods and, whilst foods on the 'paleo' menu food can be cooked, anything consumed should be edible even when raw.  So, you can see how surfing the web led me to the delights of raw foodism, and it was hard for me to ignore. 

The discovery excited me with its plethora of raw food recipes that take you out of the little cooked food box eg. how to make a cake without butter, sugar dairy or flour.

Although often viewed as quite an extreme and alternative lifestyle raw foodism, for me, is another cuisine, like French, Italian or Chinese.  Simply another way to manipulate food and extension to my diet of natural foods. 

A bonus for me is that living near Brighton, which has been the stomping ground for most of my life, I'm actually near the City which has been adopted as the raw food capital of the UK, and I didn't know.

So anyway to take my raw food 'uncooking' to the next level I'd booked up for a raw workshop to be held on Saturday which was unfortunately cancelled a couple of days before the event.  A little deflated, my motivation flagging and needing a boost I researched and quickly  found another workshop and was fortunate to book into it at the last minute.  This was led by one of the leading UK raw food promoters Jess Michael, and held at the exciting venue 'the Earthship'.

What an inspiring day in a fantastic setting with an absolutely delicious meal and tasters, expertly demonstrated by Jess.  Jess was vibrant and simply radiated good health.  Interesting to note that she'd originally come to raw foodism through illness, you certainly wouldn't know that now.

I walked up to the venue with a lady who's been practising raw foodism for a couple of years now.  She told me that her mother had been morbidly obese for most of her life but had been juice feasting since January and had lost 6 stone. The raw food fast and feasting reportedly can really speed up weight loss. My experience over the last few months is that when I've been predominently raw my weight loss has stopped and stabilised, although I may have been going about aspects the wrong way.  However, when I've been doing 'strict caveman' I've lost weight has returned, probably through the ketosis.  My taste preferences though I must admit are veg/raw.  I am convinced about the benefits of enzymes and vitamins by eating predominently raw, however I have been for a long time convinced about the protein/fat element in my paleo diet.

So where am I going with raw/paleo now. I'm not sure at this moment in time.   When did man discover fire?

As I travelled home a very young lamb was dashing across the field and I looked at his little face and thought to myself I don't think I can eat you anymore.

No decision to be made quite yet but raw food is here to stay.

I guess I still need a little practice with my photography skills!

Nature is bountiful

I was bereft.

Yes I was.

No more cookies, no more cakes, no more dairy, no more chocolate....

Believe you me I resisted, I stamped my feet and I fought.

When I've followed other diets the goal at the other end has always been to be able to eat 'normally' again.  Yet, somehow manage my weight along with my favourite products.

Pray to stay thin, pray to be well.

No, no, no...

Well I wanted to cook.  I enjoy the cooking process but when I started the paleo diet - well - it would be just for a while, just while I lost weight.    Cooking the way food as I knew it  (standard UK diet) well that's not exactly paleo is it? 

Life was about to change, so yes I was bereft.  I felt limited by my future paleo foods, and I was scared to be bored. 

But I've gone through a gradual process of realisation - that I could *never* really go backwards.. and *shock* I enjoy my new way of life.

As it happens I've never been in the kitchen more.  Believe you me, I am enjoying my food so, so much more than before. You can't really overeat on this diet. This is a totally safe arena for me to play in. 

I've been dabbling in another way of eating and style of food preperation and eating that works well alongside my paleo diet.  Now, I'm not going to come out about that yet but it's a foodie wonderland and boy am I having fun playing.

The fun has only just begun...

~ nature is bountiful ~

Bariatric surgery could be good for type II diabetics - not for me

Interesting, diabetes could be cured by bariatric surgery

Just a quickie, my thoughts on the above article.

I intended to post one day about bariatric surgery.  I did consider it briefly but eventually decided it wasn't for me. 

In relation to a potential diabetic cure personally I think that changing part of the anatomy in order to affect the sugar absoption issues, like pill popping, isn't addressing the underlying issue -- how the excess sugar got there in the first place. 

Note also that as the article says the gastric band doesn't cure diabetes it's the weight-loss that does that.

Clinical studies have shown that procedures that simply restrict the stomach's size (i.e., gastric banding) improve diabetes only by inducing massive weight loss.

Personally, when it I did toy with the idea of this surgery I decided that since it's basically about inducing someone to eat less I should be able to do this myself without having to take that incredibly brave decision to turn to irreversible surgery. 

It's interesting to see that surgery could in the future be offered to diabetics, although I hope that something so invasive wouldn't be dished out too hastily.   

I do recognise that surgery has to be done as a last resort but personally I've always hankered after a retreat from daily living  - a desert island or isolating experience with no phones, no shops.  Wouldn't this could have the same effect be far more enjoyable than painful surgery.

The big bad wolf

How many times have I re-joined a huge well known diet organisation, and failed.  Every magazine I picked up, what would I see, yet another inspiration story of a person who'd lost weight with that  brand - but afterall that's their marketing strategy in action.  Without naming it, I sure would know the name of this company, I mean it's probably the biggest *BRAND* in the weight loss industry.  But for every person you see succeeding, what's the betting there's 10 failing. 

Last time I returned I really began to resent the process - was all this *really* necessary! 

Whatever time I turned up, early or late, there was *always* a 45 minute wait to be weighed.  The evening was gone and I no longer had the energy to stay for the class I'd paid for. Would any other good business really expect a valued customer to wait in a 45 minute queue? What does that say about what the company *really* thinks about you. 

That queue, well it's all part of the marketing process.  Don't forget as queue you how pass all those tables of yummy interpretations of products that got you there in the first place; tables of expensive chemical loaded, 0 point  snacks, essential scales and calculators.  Then, perfectly timed for the New Year, their proven formula for weight loss suddenly morphs into a new and improved weight loss plan of, what is essentially exactly the same formula, disguised. 

But you've got to go -- weight loss just won't happen unless you're part of this group.  What a joke...

The diet industry is a treadmill aimed at desperate and therefore vulnerable people. It's a huge wolf in sheep's clothing; caring kind 'counsellors' who, of course, have have their own weight loss story (I don't denigrate that), but then have bought a franchise to earn a bomb, perhaps to claw their money back.  An industry makes jobs, they're not there giving up their nights because they care about you.

I shouldn't really discuss money here, but I've been there ... I've wasted so much money on diets in the past. But when I started to add up what I've spent on diets in the past, finally I saw myself for the pawn I was in the game. How gullible.  Remember that VLCD, well it cost me £40 a week. I repeat more than 3 months at £40 a week.  *Sharp intake of breath*.  How sad. That could have been a wonderful memorable holiday. I've wasted so much of my life with this weight problem and then been manipulated for the pain.

I don't in anyway mean to discount the efforts of anyone puts into a diet and is choosing to go for the support -- but you really shouldn't need to pay to lose weight.  Weight-loss is simply down to personal effort.   You need to work on understanding why you got fat.  You really can't do that if you're replacing what you were eating before with look alike food.

These are my tips:

1. Buy good REAL food, peruse the web; there's some fantastic informative free stuff out there.
2. If you do, therapeutically, feel you have to invest watch out for those Guru's who are *genuinely* interested in nutrition, fitness and health and buy *THEIR* books.
3. Read, learn, absorb everything you can about food and nutrition.  Here's a pointer.  If you want to know why you're fat look into the politics of food, supply and government subsidies (what's the basis of your food and why).
4. Form your own *free* diet support group.
5. Save a little for every pound you lose to invest in rewards and fun activities, along the way and for after you lose weight.  That's what I'm going to do.

The diet industry doesn't want you to lose weight.  That's why it's called diet *industry*.

I'm for the first time starting to lose weight and I'm doing this by turning my back on this industry - yeah - so there - two fingers up to the diet industry.

On the trail of Stevia

Hands up if you've heard of Stevia - possibly not if you reside in the UK. 

I heard of Stevia rebaudiana Bertoni the first time just a few months ago.  It's a naturally growing herb, it has zero calories and doesn't affect blood sugar, therefore apparently is safe for diabetics.  I hear it does have an after taste, but is used widely as a sweeter in Japan. 

There are so many diabetics and people struggling with their weight, surely it's the answer we've all been looking for. Where do I buy it? 

Unfortunately *definitely* not in the UK.

WHY?

On my quest for this herb I dug around some more and found that, although you can purchase it in the USA, apparently it cannot be marketed in a way that would indicates sweetness.... hmmm I see. 

Then I attempted to purchase it here, only to find there was no legal way in the UK and, like a drug, it's illegal even to possess it.  The reasons given, seem to me, to be no more questionable than some of the suggested side effects of aspartame and other sweeteners.

At the end of the day personally I feel frustrated that the informed choice to buy this food product is denied.  Obesity is projected to be entirely the fault of the individual...

• But why has sugar and dubious alternatives found their way into just about every food product? 
• Why are we struggling, hopelessly, to balance sugar and weight? 
• Why do we hear daily news reports of the huge obesity crisis?
• Why is there no stevia marketing campaign?

When there is a natural alternative to satisfy our sweet lust, why is it banned, who really has our interests in mind? 

Off the production line

**** Bothered, very, very bothered *****

Sorry she's ranting again.... but watch this video below and hopefully you'll understand why.  I wasn't planning to put up a post today but stopped by at one of my favourite daily reads, modern forager and was shocked by this video that it's upset me enough to join in.

Yes, I'm on the paleo diet, so it's quite clear I'm not vegetarian but lately the question of where my meat comes from has been troubling me.  It may be that Jamie Oliver, Britain's favourite chef, has been spearheading a campaign recently on the issue with an excellent program recently 'fowl dinners'  posing the question - why are our chicken and eggs becoming  so cheap? 

Maybe I'm just being a sentimental animal lover, but are we so dissociated from the origins our food that we forget from where and what our burgers and drumsticks actually came from.  We must be, to allow what I see in that video to happen. I don't know, this video is from America and not the UK so I'm not 100% sure that this represents what happens in the UK.  However, wherever we may be, it's to satisfy our ferocious appetites that the raising of meat has moved out of the farmyard and to the production line.  I'm not saying don't eat meat, but by voting with your purse and responsible shopping could help towards a more comfortable life *and ending* for the animals we eat.

Halal or Kosher meat receives criticism - it's cruel.  But what makes meat halal or kosher, is a prayer that's said to God (Halal = 'from God to God') before the animals slaughter and paying respect for the creature that's about to die - hmmmm, I didn't see much respect in that video, just pure out and out cruelty. 

I was bought up in the country and we raised a few animals that, yes, did eventually come back to the pot.  But the lambs and chickens we raised on a small scale had at least frisked and frolicked before we ate them.  Maybe it's this experience that means that I want to know any animal I eat enjoyed it's short life, had been in the sun, spent time with it's mother and most importantly wasn't tortured and was killed quickly and humanely.

Who's whispering in my ear?

On Friday night I went shopping hungry and wandered off down the sweet isle.  I ended up coming away with a 100 gm chocolate bar, although with the intention to share.  I gave away two squares and then on Saturday hid away the empty wrapper of the entire bar!

It must be a sign of the double sided personality of the Gemini I am. I'm fine as long as I don't start but once I get started but - me- the person who's writing this story isn't the same person who demolished that bar.  

Over the last couple of days I've been reflecting about why these events should happen, although they do happen less.  What it brings to mind is more that it's to do with an addiction problem that belies the weight problem.

With this in mind, have you ever been on a Very Low Calorie Diet (VLCD)?  I started one a couple of years ago and lost an almost unbelievable amount of weight (35 lb within 4 weeks)!!! As you can imagine I was completely high with exitement of the weightloss.  However, please don't rush off and go on a VLCD as one things for sure this *isn't* a recommendation! 

My experience was that, in addition to the prohibitively high cost of this diet, every bit of the weightloss was gained back when I took a seasonal break from the regime. 

If you haven't heard of a VLCD it consists of a soup and milkshake powders but absolutely nothing else except water is allowed (and at last 4 litres a day to stay safe on this diet).  The lack of carbohydrates then sends your body into ketosis. This is what promotes weight loss and the burning of fat. Be warned, this type of diet can be a strain on your kidneys and liver.

For me, the first few days on the diet caused migraine and sickness but you have to go through this pain as you move into ketosis.  It was also the sole reason I couldn't' get back on to the plan, the second time round going into ketosis left me so totally debilitated to the extent that I was in bed sick for two days. Alongside the regime was (hmmmm) CBT therapy.  I say this because, for the price, it was just someone who had a franchised into the scheme and by no means a professional counsellor.

OK, so now I've had a little moan about one of my failed diets I give credit to something that I did take away from this diet -- finally starting to acknowledge the concept that my weight problem could be due to a kind of addiction problem.

Eating is afterall essential to life, but unlike other vices you can't completely stop eating - you have to learn to manage a healthy eating regime into your life.  The underlying principle of the VLCD was that you simplify choice and take a break from your 'normal' eating regime.  Therefore, reducing the range of food takes away the responsibility of making choices; initially simplifying your diet  and rebuilding it alongside lifestyle.

Overall I think this is why I've so embraced this paleo lifestyle, as at the end of the day my diet is no longer a juggling act.  What I haven't really decided is whether it's down to me having some sort of addictive personality or whether something in the food itself was driving the bad habits. 

*** TODAY I HAD ****

• Breakfast: 1 Egg omlette
• Snack: 1 apple, 1 clementine
• Lunch: Didn't really eat lunch but through the afternoon had about 2 handfuls of my sweet nuts + 1 date.
• Evening: Roast lamb with carrots and brocoli                  

As it was my day off I also had a long brisk walk along the seafront.  Stretches and attempted some press-ups.  I can't do these yet but I've set them as a goal - they're something I've never been able to do before even when I was at a healthy weight.

Cravings - what do you REALLY want?

As I've mentioned before, I was admitted to hospital a couple of years ago following an acute post-holiday illness.  What I didn't say was that on admission the doctors said I was severely malnourished.  Of course, on that occasion the illness had certainly caused this, but the fact that I am now no longer experiencing cravings  and changed diet has made me to take the connection between malnourishment, obesity and cravings far more seriously. 

It's not uncommon knowledge that just because you're obese it doesn't mean you're well nourished. If you eat and you're not providing the nutrients your body requires it constantly cries out for more; you feed your body more empty calories and so the cycle goes on... 

I'm sure this is why my appetite was never previously satiated, all the bad high calorie foods were totally displacing the good.

Now, although many of the foods I eat may be rich in calories they are also rich in the essential nutrients my body requires. I no longer waste time eating empty calories and now when I eat, that's it, I'm truely satisfied. It's more than measuring what calories you put in and then burn off.  I always keep in mind food density and hope that heeding this keeps all my previous cravings at bay.

I believe that contrary to dieting by starving and withholding calories, the key may be actually be feeding my body what it's *really* demanding from me.